I got fired. Then I did this.

Have you ever studied body language? I must admit, I haven't been a student of this fascinating subject until the last few years. Well five years to be exact. How do I know when I started studying it? Because it was a matter of life and death to my career. That kind of gets you to sit up and take notice. Pun intended.

Let me explain.

I had just been fired from my job as President of a community bank. Like many heartaches in life, I was about to learn a few of the best lessons a setback can provide. The first of many being, the best path to success after a setback is to put one foot in front of another, one day at a time.

One of those daily actions was to start interviewing again. But to be honest, I didn't feel like it. I felt like a loser. My mind bombarded me with thoughts of "you're not good enough" on repeat. I wasn't sure I had it in me. But I had no choice. As a single mom with two kids to feed, I had to find a way to persevere.

So I scheduled interview after interview, whether I felt like it or not. Mercifully, I ran across a Ted talk by Amy Cuddy on body language. In it I learned how to use body language to communicate with myself and increase my energy level that I portrayed to the world.

Let's try a quick example so you can feel what I mean.

Let your shoulders slump forward and your head tilt down. Imagine talking to someone in this position with a quiet, down trodden voice, looking up from downcast eyes. How does your energy feel? Sluggish? Low?

Now pull your shoulders back, lift your chin, and imagine you're looking someone right in the eye with the corners of your mouth turned up in a slight smile. Now how's your energy? Higher right?

Body language communicates to the outside world, but even more importantly, it communicates to your brain too.

Have you ever thought about the international body language sign for victory? Think about a boxer who's just won a fight. Or about a runner who's just crossed the finish line in first place. What do they all do, around the world, no matter the language?

They throw their arms up in a high V, for victory.

I use this often when I'm running to tell my mind that my body is strong and can keep going even though my mind is complaining and trying to convince me to quit because it's hard.

When I learned we can communicate to ourselves through our body language, I felt like I had hacked my system.

Before interviews, I would go into the bathroom and throw my hands up in a HIGH V for victory. Or I would stand in a super woman pose, smiling and laughing at myself in the mirror.

By the time I got into the interview, I wasn't the poor, dejected fired girl my brain had tried to convince me I was. Instead, I was the skilled, experienced, and proud, yet humbled, business woman that any company would be lucky to have.

Even the amazingly talented Shonda Rhimes describes her strategy for using her superwoman pose to increase her feelings of greatness in her book, The Year of Yes.

I told this story last week during some live trainings I did on Facebook and wanted to share it again with you because sometimes I think we need to be reminded that we have greatness within us. We may be tattered and bruised on the outside from life. But inside, that victorious human is just waiting to get out and be seen.

Who do you have in your life that mentors you and wants to see you win? Who’s throwing up that victory sign with you as you stretch for new goals or recover from a setback?

If you are missing that group of people who cheer you on, especially when it's tough, I would like to introduce you to my Momentum Mastermind groups. These are groups of women who thrive on supporting one another and rising to the occasion when needed. We open these only two times per year. You can learn more about them here.

In the meantime, chin up buttercup. I'm serious. Let's try one more exercise, just in case. Chin up and throw your hands in the air in the high V. I think you'll like how it feels.

5 Reasons You Aren't Reaching Your Goals

Through my work with high performing women, I’ve noticed a common problem in achieving their ideal goals and ideal life.  The problem is not lack of drive or motivation.  The problem is not ability or skill.  The problem is not a lack of ideas or creativity. 

On the contrary, high performing women have tons of drive, motivation, ability, skills, ideas, and creativity.  But the problem is the overwhelm and stress they find themselves in due to their high-performance standards. I understand this stress and never-ending drive for perfection, but often getting derailed by distraction.  That’s why I created the Momentum90 Plan, to zero in on only the major projects that matter that will take you directly to your goals.  This cuts out the clutter of those things you think you should be doing, and gives you a laser focus only on the things that do. 

While developing the Momentum90 Plan, I studied high performing individuals and learned the major areas that were lacking in goal production.  Any one of these areas can trip us up, rendering our performance lack luster, chaotic, or less than our best.  As we walk through these, take note of any that resonate with you that have been holding you back.

Reasons You Aren’t Reaching Your Goals:

1)     No written goals.  People who try to wing it with their goals will only go so far.  A certain level of achievement can definitely be reached without clear aim.  However, the most successful people, have a clear vision of where they want to go, and they write it down.  That way, when distractions pop up, as they always do, you can more quickly and easily get back to the momentum tasks that will drive you towards accomplishing your goals.

2)     No Daily, Weekly Action Plans.  Some people write down their goals, but then they fail to make the incremental action plan necessary to get to those goals.  This happens often with new year’s resolutions.  They sound great on January 1, but with no action plan of how to get there, most people get overwhelmed and discouraged, and ultimately quit.

3)     No action taken.  Even the best laid action plan will fall short if you never act!  I am famous for this.  I love strategic brainstorming and planning.  It’s a strength.  But I love to plan ad infinitum.  The plan will look perfect when I am done with it, but I won’t have accomplished anything, because I never put the plan into action.  In my business, I’ve always surrounded myself with people who encourage me to act on the good ideas formed in the strategic planning phase. 

4)     No accountability.  Often this is where most people get tripped up.  High performers can achieve much on their own, and sometimes it feels easier to go it alone.  However, when times get really tough, when goals get uncomfortable, it is imperative to have someone who will hold you accountable and help keep you on track.

5)     Overwhelm.  You’re a high performer, so you have lots of ideas and energy.  But chasing after each idea without completing the projects on the board, just leads to chaos and ultimately burnout.  In the Momentum90 Plan, I teach the best way to deal with these ideas is to create a list of “Great Ideas for the Momentum90 Plan”.  This means you can still do those things, but they will just need to wait for the next quarter to make your project list.  You will achieve less stress and overwhelm with this one easy habit implementation.

So which goal blocker resonates most with you?  Look at everything on your project and goal list.  Which category do you fall into right now?  We will all be in one of these categories at one time or another.  The key is to identify where you are stuck and get the help you need to move through so you can keep on crushing those goals.

If you would like to surround yourself with a group of high performing women to hold you accountable, check out a Momentum Mastermind Group.  We are launching new groups this now!